Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
