Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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