One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
