I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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