idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
