Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
