yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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