8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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