I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
