Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
