you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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