yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
