'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
