So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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