please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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