Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
