Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
