Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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