If i come over, it means nothing
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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