Barsexuality is the new black.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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