you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
