Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
