I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
