she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
