So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
