Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
