so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
