So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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