So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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