I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
