I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
