i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
