who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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