I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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