the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
