I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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