My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
