you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
