My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
