Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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