bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's always time for handjobs
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
