She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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