When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
home. puking in laundry basket.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
