sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
