she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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