I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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