R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
