Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
