my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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