is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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