i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
