lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
