The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Randomize
