I hate your face
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
