I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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