I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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