I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
