I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
