Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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