TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
