We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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