Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
