I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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