that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Drunk is not a location!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
