It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
