I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
