Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
